But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
