I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
