I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
