if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
