we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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