You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize