i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize