i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
