They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize