i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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