OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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