I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
