yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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