It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
