Well douche your snatch and let's go!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
