dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize