sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
