woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I AM VODKA MAN
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
