well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
