this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
