she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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