I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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