you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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