I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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