she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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