dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
