She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
