I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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