You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The air taste purple.
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