Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize