Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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