You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
