I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
