8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
