I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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