I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
