Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
