Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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