please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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