Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
