he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
