We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize