my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
