Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
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