Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
