Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize