Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize