Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
