Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
