Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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