i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
