is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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