sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Boobs are out for the taking
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize