They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
