based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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