Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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