The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
