3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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