Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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