Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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